“Having sex with someone you hook up with isn’t making love. Making love is having sex with someone you love, someone you trust, and someone who makes every time, feel like the first time.”—william chapman (via williamchapmanwritings)
“One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.”—John Green (via rebreathing)
“You are not clingy, or needy, or silly for having needs for affection and affirmation and attention within a romantic relationship. Those needs aren’t an embarrassing outgrowth of your low-self esteem or depression or whatever messy emotional issues you may have going on, that’s just basic shit that people need from each other. We of course should not make our partners responsible for meeting all of our emotional needs – it’s not someone’s else’s job to make you happy. But inside a healthy relationship, being able to show affection, pay attention, and demonstrate “you are amazing and important to me” is a pleasure, not some task or burden.”—Jennifer Peepas (via xokrista)
“I’m always soft for you, that’s the problem. You could come knocking on my door five years from now and I would open my arms wider and say ‘come here, it’s been too long, it felt like home with you.’”—Azra.T “My Heart is Full of Open Windows.” (via c-oquetry)
“The hardest period in life is one’s twenties. It’s a shame because you’re your most gorgeous, and you’re physically in peak condition. But it’s actually when you’re most insecure and full of self-doubt. When you don’t know what’s going to happen, it’s frightening.”—Helen Mirren, quoted in Esquire’s “What I’ve Learned” (via rosegoldthoughts)
1. Date a boy who makes you happy, but marry him only if he makes you laugh deep-belly rumbles that hurt your ribs as they expand outwards. Date him when he sees that you’re hurting and he gives you a moment to feel that pain like a handprint spreading across your consciousness, marry him only if he can make you smile even while you’re gross sobbing. The world is not a kind place. You will feel a lot of pain. Make sure you are with someone who makes it all bearable. Humor is an excellent gauge of intelligence. Life gets boring. Find someone who makes the banal interesting.
2. Make sure he has scars on the back of his hands, it’s a good sign he has experience either fighting or making things - creation is an act of selflessness and bruised knuckles are a good sign he knows how to defend himself. You’ve got too much soul to be handled by someone who has never been passionate. If he’s never thrown a punch, let him at least have tasted the insanity of bringing an idea into existence. Rough palms are better than soft ones, they have been salted by this earth and made into leather. Callouses are evidence he has lived, that he has broken skin and been in pain over and over and over again and still came back to the source of it. People rub against each other. Don’t marry him if he can’t handle even a little blister.
3. Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting, see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk - you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people, baby girl. If they are made one way, it doesn’t just wear off. If you hate how he acts when he’s out of it now, you’re going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit.
4. Trust your instincts. If he ever makes you feel unsafe, don’t make excuses, just get up and leave. That’s all there is to it. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
5. If he puts money before you, he’ll keep pushing you to the bottom of the pile until you become his last priority. It’s one thing if he can’t afford what you want, it’s another if he has the cash but won’t spring for a box of Chicken McNuggets. Money and love are arch enemies. 62% of divorces occur due to economic strain. Make sure keeping you is more important than his 401k.
6. How a man treats animals is a good indicator of how he treats children. If you see him raise a hand to a dog, pack your things into a little black bag. Animals at their worst are only half as annoying as a toddler on their best behavior. Your kids will be beautiful, but they will also misbehave. Same goes for waiters and hotel maids - if he’s rude to those who are working for minimum wage, it says a lot about how he sees himself. Patience is rare and so important. If he’s not forgiving to a dog, he’s not good for your kids.
7. If he isn’t in awe of you, he doesn’t deserve you. You are my little girl and you were born perfect. If he can’t see that, it’s his loss. There is someone who thinks your flaws power his heart. Be strong. If he asks you to change, be like the rock of your birthstone, do not waver. You are wondrous just the way that you are.
”—My father’s recipe for the man I should marry (part 1/2 of a series). /// r.i.d (via letlooselove)
“I don’t know a lot about god
but I know that on a warm day rain feels like heaven
and I don’t know a lot about sin
but I know that I felt something when I pulled off
your shirt and breathed you in
I’ve never imagined selling my soul to the devil
but I think I came close when you asked how
long my parents would be gone and in those
twenty minutes I didn’t even try to be gentle
I never thought to question why my mom
decided to sleep with death instead of tucking
I have been far too busy finding the difference
between what my pastor taught me about sex
and what you teach me about religion”—sundays (via redandhazel)
“I am no expert on love,
But I have a few suggestions to keeping your love alive.
1- Don’t fall asleep angry. But if you do, wake up in the middle of the night and hold her as close as you can.
2- Laugh during sex, especially if you bump heads. If you aren’t laughing, you’re with the wrong person.
3- If you don’t feel comfortable dancing naked with your partner and showing them your four chins when you laugh, you’re doing it wrong.
4- Romance isn’t for everyone, but a post-it note in their lunchbox telling them they’re the best will never go amiss.
5- Don’t cling to them at parties. Dance with friends and spend time with acquaintances, but wink at each other across the room.
6- Keep everything 50/50, or you will fall out of balance.
7- Stop comparing your relationship to others- you are you, don’t try to be someone else.
8- Be kind. Give them space when they need it, but be their home when they come back.
9- Be proud to love them.
10- Support them through whatever they do in life, even if it’s a stupid decision. People need to make their own mistakes, but be there if it falls apart, and never say ‘I told you so’.
And most of all, love with your whole heart, or don’t love at all.”—(via little-dyke)
“You wanna know what living life to the fullest actually is? It’s waking up on a Monday morning with no complaints. It’s knowing you always deserve to laugh. It’s doing what feels right no matter what. It’s doing what you want to, no matter how stupid you look. It’s about being yourself, ‘cause no one can tell you you’re doing it wrong.”—Unknown (via raysofthesun)
“It’s not that people can’t love you if you don’t love yourself. It’s that you won’t feel it because it’ll always seem like you don’t deserve it.”—But It’s Not a Matter of Deserving (#53: January 11, 2014)